My parents went up too the trailer around nine o'clock today ,
& I DIDNT GO :)

I'm staying at my cosins house this weekend , because i never go up the first weekend , its too much work and its also lisas birthday weekend, the only way i was gonna go up was if nikko came but he wasnt alowed because of mothers day .

I've been with nikko for over a month now and im still happy :)
We have are stupid little fights now and then because hes kind of a jealous person and that pisses me off ,

He doesn't really want me hanging out with alot of guys , but he can hang out with girls .... whatever i dont really care because im not JEALOUS .

*I think that its getting too hot outside ! :(
I feel like im gonna pass out .

I want nikko too come over after school for a bit but hes not aloud inside DARN IT , im gonna make a picnik or something maybe , I'm going to abi's house right after too school , too hang out for a bit and too get a few things :)

I havent written in this for awhile , oh well PEACE OUT ! (L)

Hey i broke up with brandon along time ago for being a DICK .
I'm now dating nikko (L)
and I've been with him for almost 3 weeks and i like him very much , we havent run into any big problems yet which is a good thing , and i have only been mad at nikko once :| Which is not alot :) (L)

I really hope my relationship with Nikko is gonna last because i just happen too actually like him alot , i could not see myself breaking up with him , Ah maybe thats just me ! '


One thing im scared of is falling into love , what if he doesn't love me back and ect .....

I know that normally the relationship you have when your a teenager isnt gonna be the one you marry. Im just not looking forward too the breakup , if that ever happens .


I love the way he makes me feel , its so amazing .

Like today i was so tired and then he called me at lunch and i got really exicted and hyper :)(L)
Maybe he just has that effect on me .

MARCH BREAK IS OVER.

Ah , I ended up dating brandon again , Hes going too college next year, and all only be in grade 11, hes only a year older than me though so i guess things arent all that bad. My parents dont really care that hes older than me, I guess thats a good thing.

& He came over yesterday because i called him from the skatepark because he lives near there.

& Then Bailey and Ryan got in a fight brandon was suppossed too drive everyone home, but Bailey got out of the car, and that started even more drama , her mom called me last night too see what happenned im wondering how in the world she got my number if Bailey wasnt even home , maybe Ryan gave it too her.

ANYWAYS !!!.
i'm hoping that josh isn't gonna be mad at me.

Skating is going to be cannelled for 2 months on FRIDAYS , after next week :( that sucks i guess all just goto heron park or some where else and then goto CENTINAL on Saterdays and Sundays :)

I was talking too Bailey on the phone last night till about 11:30 untill she told me i should probably goto sleep because i have school tomorrow. Shes fun too hang out with , i should do it more often ! :P:)

Baileys mom wants too get a restraining order against Ryan , just because she doesn't really like him , Well i guess when they are together they sort of get in trouble. Ryans like my bestfriend so it sucks that when im with her he cant come.

I REALLY HATE THE DRAMA .
IT LIKES TOO FOLLOW ME AROUND !!!!.

So here it goes,
I broke up with jesse but now im wondering if it was the right thing too do , because maybe just because his sister doesn't like me shouldn't mean that we shouldn't be able too work...
ohh well maybe i just screwed something good up , then again maybe it wasn't so good. Ah sometimes i dont understand life , March Break , Starts tomorrow at 3:00 :D YESS

I Can't Wait , I Need The Time Off School , I Need A Break , So Far I Have Nothing Really Planned I Wanna Goto A Hotel And Goto Some Parties .... Maybe Stay At My Cousins House , And Sleep Alot... Try And Keep MySelf Busy.

I Really Want Too Do Something Interesting Something All Remember For Awhile Or At Least Till Summer Make It Something I Will Remember , Because Whats The Point Of Having The Time Off , Unless Your Actually Doing Something.

Even If Its Studying Or Catching Up On Work , I Guess At Least Thats Something. Right?

* At This Moment I Wish That There Was A Button You Can Turn Off , When You Don't Want Too Like Someone Anymore... I Should INVENT That ...

* I'm Really Bored I Just Finished My Geography Test And Theres Nothing Really Too Do, I'm In The Langage Lab UpStairs :)

* & My brother started dating this girl , shes gonna be 16 , my brother is 13 years old and im not aloud too date someone thats 18 too me that does not make any sence , because 16-18 , is not a big differnce considering im going to be 17 this year ...

&&&

RULES RULES RULES .

I hate them ,
be home by dark.
in your room by eleven .
my little cousin doesn't have a bedtime and i do.
my parents just say,
there differnt than us
they disipline differnt.
I dont get how thats disipline like normally even on WEEKENDSS ?!?!?!?!?!?
& They wondering why i dont like to have sleepovers at my house.
Aha thats why i like too go out.

*& My parents always think that im up too something when most the time I'M NOT...
It's just that when im doing something im not supposed too I DONT GET CAUGHT.... NORMALLY :)(L)<3

Why does your past always come and bite you in the face.
I feel like maybe I'm getting close too someone and BOOM .
its always one thing or another i don't like you because you dated my sisters best friends boyfriend.
& It might not even be that he doesn't like me , but his sister doesn't want me too dare him
&
My fucking so called best friend goes and tells all my shit too them like what the frig , they called me knew a lot of things about me like really i don't find a need for it. I guess maybe i don't deserve anything , maybe i shouldn't have anyone too care about. I know I'm not that great looking and there like rubbing it in my face , making my ex boyfriend talk too me like i actually want too. There drunk there annoying I don't even know why i talked too them in the first place.


I guess they wanna wreck my relationship really if i wanted too i could probably be with someone else , but i wanted too be with him , every time i make my mind up , i get screwed over.

On the other hand I don't even know why i care , because those girls don't even know me , now i would NEVER go to jesses house , this isn't gonna last very long :(

I guess that maybe guys are not what i should focus on , but i like feeling like I'm needed and that someone likes me , I might be wrong i don't know, but like i don't even wanna write anymore, I'm really mad

I hate knowing that my friends are going through the same thing that i did .
I hate knowing that some of them are suicidal or they hate there life and don't ever think things will change ,
I try and tell them that things will change and they till me all believe it when it happens , I don't even think they want change and its hard for me too see that , because they are my friends , and i kinda know what they are going threw. but maybe i experienced it in a different way. Maybe this is why your teenage years are the worst ? Like if you don't have a boyfriend that doesn't make you ugly , maybe the guys are just afraid they will get rejected but no one ever thinks about it that way.

I'm not gonna wish that life is perfect , because then life would be really boring and you probably wouldnt learn from mistakes because you wouldn't make any. and then what would life be ?

Some times i really don't understand i wish that things could be different and i would sometimes i would wish i didnt do some things that i do , but i can't change them now , only in the future.

& I wish they would stop holding on too there past because sometimes that can be a bad thing .

Whatever there my friends and im not gonna hold anything against them.

BOOOMM <3

Alot of people are going swimming tonight , my brother won't go but i guess that isn't always a bad thing. Richard want's too take me out on Saterday , I guess all see if that ever happens. He already made it so i don't really wanna be with him whatever. Jesse T told me that he likes me that was kind of akward. Considering i dated someone with that name before.

<3

I can't belive the lies that brandon is telling his new girlfriend , I did this I did that.
& Aparently he dumped me because i started dating Ryan , doesn't that mean that i should have broke up with him , WHATEVER.

If i let him hurt me , its my own fault.


I hate that devin wont leave me alone sometimes , he bugs me so that i will tell him whats wrong with me , but there is nothing wrong with me like wtf.